I showed him my bush... on skype.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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