Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
