It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
