I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I want to have your abortion
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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