I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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