Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
