For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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