So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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