he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
