we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
All the doctor said was why
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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