This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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