I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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