just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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