Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
