I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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