trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dear god my vagina.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
