I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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