just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
