Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
