Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize