is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
