I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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