Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
