Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
