What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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