I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
