we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
