bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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