Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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