you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
