I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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