everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
