filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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