you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
