You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
