Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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