im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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