Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
