Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
