I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
