I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
