What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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