That's intense
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
