I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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