I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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