Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
