those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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