he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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