it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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