she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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