before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
