He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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