Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize