I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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