i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
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