i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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