It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
