Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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