you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
