I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
