How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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