Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
