I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize