it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
