mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
